Adventures in Jeans Shopping

It had to be done. I desperately needed a new pair of jeans. Every single pair I had contained large gaping holes in the knees…and it wasn’t a fashion statement! I attribute it to being down on the floor with the kids, but who knows really. So I figured I should get at least one pair of jeans that did not have holes before the other mom’s at preschool and kindergarten started talking.

(Alright, the truth is that they are probably already talking. I mean, good heavens, when the see me first thing in the morning I look like a zombie dragging 3 kids by their arms behind me. I am pale as a ghost, I’m doing good to have my teeth brushed, let alone my hair and I never have on a matching outfit. There are several other mom’s out there who apparently have it a lot more together than I. They are completely groomed from head to toe, their outfits are coordinated and cute and I’m sure their children are not only dressed but very well fed too. I keep thinking that I should try to get up earlier to make all this happen at my house, even just one day would be a miracle.) Now back to the jeans…..

So I had to get a new pair of jeans. According to an article on Yahoo!’s front page, I should be able to find a great pair of jeans for less than $100. I should hope to shout! I don’t want to spend more than $25….especially for something that I figure will start to get a hole in at least one knee by the end of the month. I set off to the big box store to find an acceptable pair of jeans for about $25. Well, let me tell you, this is no easy task.

Problem #1 – I am at least 2 sizes larger than I should be….maybe even 3. We’ve had a bit of stress over the last several months. Everyone deals with stress differently….and well, apparently I eat. “Hey kids, wouldn’t it be fun to make a cake?” “Would you rather have ice cream cones or a milkshake for an after school snack?” “Chips and Salsa is a good appetizer before any meal…even lasagna.” So if I go shopping for something new, I have to officially admit that I am much bigger than I should be…I can no longer live in denial.

Problem #2 – I am short. Really really short. The pants that are labeled “average” are miles too long for me…and if I am really lucky and find a pair that is labeled “short,” they are generally too long for my little legs as well.

Problem #3– Most of the pants in the $25 range are tapered legs. I know that with my roundness and my shortness I cannot have tapered legs…under ANY circumstances. Some straight legs are ok…but really I need to get a wider leg, like the boot cut or some such thing.

Can you see the dollar signs adding up? And…can you see why I wait until the last possible moment to buy new jeans? Still, I am determined that I will go home with a new pair of jeans for less than $25.

The first round of contenders get sent back to the wracks right away. Not one will work. Then I see them. “Short” jeans with a wide leg and a sticker that says “Slims your figure” all for under $25. How much better could it get? Well out of all the jeans I tried on, these were the ones I ended up with. I’m not so sure they really slim you. I think a more accurate tag would say “Redistributes your fat to other places you don’t want it.” In any case, they were the best of the bunch. Still, I’m not really totally happy with them. Maybe when my budget increases and I can spend $100 or heck, even $50, on a pair of jeans, I’ll be able to find something I’m happy with. Or maybe when I’m no longer short and round. (Okay…I can work on the round thing…but at this point I’m pretty certain I’m stuck with the “short.”)

I’ll still look like a zombie…but at least I’ll be a zombie with out knee holes.